MY VIRTUAL Standing Rock REALITY

THIS POST WAS INSPIRED BY A GROUP COMMITTED TO WATER, JUSTICE & PEACE
WHAT DOES IT ALL MEAN?

I am not christian but I could not overlook what appeared to me both inside and outside of the heart.

"The truth & irony is, I'm not sure how I came to be there, as a moderator, on the Standing Rock Protectors PP facebook page but I was in the wolfpack from Aug to Jan. I knew how to listen. How to hold space for a deep well in pain of loss & injustice."

       

Do you see what I saw revealed to me?
Intuitive Painting: paint, randomly. Let dry. Draw out what you see.

Painting is Prayerful. It clears me of emotional clutter so if this is our training then it is the awakening of not only our spirit, but the planets.

Without peace or know how to find it then we're left to spin with whatever chaos has been started. Without knowing it, we open ourselves to becoming a pawn to be used against the minds of others. When we begin pouring out our beautiful & caring hearts, our emotions are being played and drained so I am saying to all who don't know to be aware and to please remember that stress is connected to our central nervous systems, directly influences our immune systems, our moods, our health and the well being of us all. Every energy adds to the whole so don't feed the troll energies. How? Simply by not engaging. I'm not saying disconnect, I am saying detach from noise and find peace. Distract thyself. 

Now that the bloody media light is finally shining a light on broadcasting I can't believe any of it and neither should you. Back in September the rumours began of "provocateurs coming into camp and we saw the e-troll numbers growing among us. It is implied they are pushing ideas, dropping hints, underpinning darkness & creating an atmosphere of ill intent. What this does is plants tiny seeds of doubt in our minds. Then begin the manipulating of truths, distracting attention and worst of all in my opinion, pretending to be allies. Everything gets turned upside down until we begin judging our friends and loved ones. Pitting people against each other is a well known tactic to divide camps from uniting.

The truth is that only the Creator will ever know the truth and we're not to judge. I think the only way through this is to not fully trust our own mind. We have to spend prayerful time getting to know our sacred heartspeak which has been here the whole time and is our partner in this life. Like many people here our Souls are also fighting to be freed from a lifetime of oppression.

Stay Tuned ~ Shine ON! #synergyetc 

WISDOM

My story begins with my very first memory, when I was just a baby. I remember being coddled in peoples’ arms, being passed around and I noticed that each time this happened, a new set of eyes were upon me and I could feel it in my belly. I remember realizing that each had their different smell, different feel and different sound. I remember the feeling of safety with some and with others, a feeling that welled up from my belly and resulted in me crying out, getting passed to another and either being comfortable again, or not. I also remember being acutely aware that each person had a unique pattern that I now recognize as knitting. I see now that I had been looking at a close up view of the fabric on their arms.

Fig 1 - (left) Superman’s shirt fiber

Fig 2 - (right) Denim / blue jeans

So what does any of this have to do with how I became an entrepreneur? 

It all began with my child-like sense of wonder and a fascination with the wisdom of my thoughts. Even as a baby as described above, I knew that I was thinking complicated thoughts and had an exquisite awareness of things that I could not fathom. I remember knowing that one day I would understand the words. I remember my inner self-soothing “talk” which eased me when I was stressed. I remember catching complex dialogue and having moments of lucidity and understanding. AS that baby, I knew at the time that I was thinking things that I did not understand. I also remember feeling moments of utter confinement and cognitive ignorance and knowing that this would be temporary. As I grew older, I always knew that I would teach but I never knew what. I knew that I would paint although I couldn't draw and I would catch visions of myself as an adult, speaking to audiences of doctors and scientists who were experiencing “aha” moments right before my eyes. Whenever I tried to focus on the words I was speaking, the vision faded. I became an entrepreneur because I have been called to it, by my inner self and my purpose in life.

It has not been easy, following my heart's desire. For years I felt like I came from a different world. My community was not set-up to nurture and develop my inner voice, and if it wasn't for my Uncle I might have lost the intuition all together. He was the one who taught me when I was 6, that I should not be afraid but I should keep my innermost feelings and thoughts, to myself. He encouraged me to recognize that what I was experiencing was unique, special and highly unusual and that nobody else would understand. While this scared me, I trusted him and to this day give him credit for my sense of openness. 

So, while there is much more to this, the bottom line is that I am an entrepreneur because I am following my inner guidance. All my life, I have without “forcing” become an artist, an adult educator, a public speaker, a writer and poet and am very involved with the study of neuroplasticity and the science of wisdom. I was inspired to begin a disciplined study of meditation and energy healing when I was 19 (that was 1980) which continues to present time. While the rest of my family and friends grappled with the external world and academia, I was focused on the inner, developing a relationship with what I now know to be the spirit of who I am.

My passion is driven to inspire others to embrace the whole of who they are.

~Barbara

STEADFASTNESS

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~ as written by Linda Kavelin Popov
Virtues Project Reflection Cards

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MY TWO SENSE:

In considering the list above I realize that I am doing a lot to support Steadfastness in my life. I'm not saying I am perfect or there isn't room for improvement, I'm saying it wasn't until I saw "I don't allow doubts or tests to blow me off course" that I recognized a place to really grow. The rest of the points I feel for the most part, I have a handle on. I am mindful about what I say yes to and I often say no when the task is not on my path; I remain true to my purpose which is at this point figuring out exactly what my purpose is, then making a plan and going for it; I pace myself with time to work, garden, rest, play, time for myself and time with family and friends. I am faithful to my relationships by being actively involved in cultivating the best for all; I take what comes and I persevere. Where I see a need for growth is in not allowing tests and doubts to blow me off course. This has been a recent challenge for me that I am aware of and working on. 

I have been reviewing my life-history in order to uncover any harmful beliefs I may have taken-on in my life and I found a couple of doozies. Let me talk about one in particular and make it clear that I hold no fault in my mother who was party to what may be the root of them all. I have a distinct recollection of being 2 or 3 years old, standing at my bedroom window, watching my mom driving away and crying my eyes out. My frame of mind was in panic and despair, my heart was breaking and my imagination was feeding me completely wrong information. You see in those moments, night after night I cried my eyes out watching my mother leave for work, believing she was leaving me. Over and over I knew in my heart that I would NEVER see her again. Through the rationale of my impressionable mind, I believed it and nothing, not even seeing her in the morning, would convince me otherwise. Day after day I would repeat this experience and although I don't know how long I carried on, it was long enough to leave a lasting impression. I recall being absolutely amazed that the depth of my love and my pain was not enough to turn her car around. I remember imagining that if she could see me and hear the pain in my cries, that I could bring her back to me. I saw her look up at me standing in the window... I thought she must have heard me, her window was down. She smiled and waved and drove away. This sealed the deal and I remember my knees going week and dropping in a heap on the floor -- I implanted the idea within myself that I was not important enough. 

The science of neuroplasticity is showing us that the "beliefs" we acquire (consciously and unconsciously) can lay claim in our hearts and act as the under-tone of what we consciously believe. Up until recently I had forgotten this experience and what is simply amazing to me is that my 2 year old irrational logic got trapped in the trauma and wrapped with all the sights, sounds and smells, reinforcing my beliefs of the experience. Our body remembers too.

So our beliefs are steadfast in nature too and designed to trigger our survival instincts. Whether true or untrue, they serve as the underpinning of who we really are. So, I have journeyed into the shadow here and discovered this untrue belief about myself and through steadfastness, I trust I will also find my way out of this place.