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~ as written by Linda Kavelin Popov
Virtues Project Reflection Cards
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MY TWO SENSE:
What a great card to reboot my blogging discipline today. It is a beautiful virtue and quality to find and encourage within everyone. Imagine if every relationship was rooted in sincerity? What a wonderful world it would be! On the contrary, in the last few years I find that I am faced with a complete lack of sincerity from certain people. It is awkward but since my mission is to lean into the shadows, I don't shy away easily.
There are productive and counterproductive outcomes of being sincere. In my opinion, the initial way to achieving sincerity is being humbly honest with myself. I focus on experiencing the gifts that come, like peace-of-mind and contentment. When my mind is content, I can just be myself. But outside of my comfort-circle of loved ones, how often does it really happen? Many factors contribute to the conditions that allow me to feel safe enough to be sincere. It's a catch 22 especially when my sincerity is compromised by others who reject, or use tactics to manipulate. Of course it influences how I perceive myself and since it's all about fixing me, then I turn away from challenging others to grow. "You can lead a horse to water..." right?
I once gently wrote to a co-worker and asked her to be more thoughtful and caring in her email interactions. The energy of her emails was more dictator-like and demanding rather than united and cooperative. Rather than practicing responsibility in how she could adjust herself, she chose to retaliate. The mole-hill blew into a mountain of blame and shame shifting. Perhaps I could have overlooked it all but that is not me, I respectfully asked for what I need by trying to point out the harsh and hurtful things. In hindsight, I was not being helpful and it only served to further push buttons. Somehow it turned into a question of my "professionalism", and without debating skills or negotiating tactics, my opinion was muted and I silently retreated. I adjusted my own behaviour and tried to let it slide. Every email that came in the months to follow seemed more curt, rude and insensitive. To focus on my own spiritual work, I tried to put it down to a lesson in my patience. In fact, I swallowed my needs and denied my own sense of sincerity in order to "let it go".
When we live in any degree of denial, we are not fully accepting the circumstances of our lives. The gift of this state is seeing how I have been living the lie. As a matter of fact, most people I know have convinced themselves that as long as they speak in terms of what they want, that they are entitled to treat others badly while they say they're being sincere. In an earlier blog, I wrote about LOVE and the same theory applies here: we are either working in-line with our hearts desire, or against it. When we deny our own needs, we are working against our hearts desire. Sincerity with oneself is the one place that truly matters most.
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