HONESTY

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~ as written by Linda Kavelin Popov
Virtues Project Reflection Cards

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MY TWO SENSE:

In light of my renewed commitment to blog every day, this card could not be more relevant. What purpose would it serve to be anything but honest at this time in my life? The reason I want to blog is two-fold: I want to condition myself to really see what's true and right in my world through the lens of virtues in action, and to hone in on what's not right; and I also want to explore how healing can happen from the inside, out. If I really admit it to myself, honestly, I am searching for the truth about who I really am. Discerning myself through the lens of this virtue helps me to see what the root of truth is... it begins with honesty. Truth to me is all about being honest with myself so that I can see through "unclouded eyes". I love that description... it feels so true. In thinking about times I have told a lie or embellished a story I can identify how difficult it is to actually look someone in the eye. It's harder still to pretend to be something or someone I'm not, without that mis-truth cloaking the true me. It's like having an invisible wet blanket thrown on, it clouds my eyes.

We begin life with our honesty muscles fully intact and we all know that children can be brutally honest. As we grow, we learn how and why to twist the truth to serve us. We see it happening all around us; we hear it from those we trust the most and it makes the 'little white lies' okay to tell. It is even used to describe some roles of authority. Did you believe the message, "if it doesn't hurt anyone..."? I grew up knowing that a lack of honesty, hurts me and everyone around me... but I am not going to delve into that. What I want to focus on is the upside of honesty. Being honest with myself is the first and most important step in my healing journey. It is also the trickiest because I have this other side of me that continuously lurks in the shadows waiting for opportunities to tell me it's okay to bend THAT truth, or it's better NOT to tell the whole story in this situation. Right? Right!

It is like the little red-guy sits on my shoulder throwing out the baited lines which can easily get camouflaged within all the other thoughts that flood in at any given moment. I have been hooked before but I am learning to tell the difference and that trickster may not know that I am on a mission of truth and honesty. My trickster lives in all the past lies that remain in the recesses of my heart and while I won't be displaying them for all the world to see, I must go on a truth fast in order to purify my eyes. Being honest will facilitate that process. I hear: "the truth will set you free." and I know it is time for me to "gently let them go." I finally GET that I am worth it. I really lost me over the years of lying to myself about my weight, my happiness, my health, my purpose here on earth. Now let me be clear and honest, I have a great life it's just my love for myself has been compromised as a result and the UN-true messages that I have told myself for the past half-century and I have fortified that suffering. So, with you as my witness, I am on a mission to bring my truest self back home to me -- honestly.


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